Farewell Auxiliary Duckie

RIP AUXILIARY DUCKIE (2006-2007)

I'm sorry I haven't posted this week but it's been a rough week. I lost my Auxiliary Duckie and just don't know what happened.

As many of you know, I am a Duckie Afficionado. I only like Ducks. I mean if it quacks like a duck and looks like a duck, I'm hooked. I wrote about my a collection of duckies awhile back and you can see a photo of Auxiliary Duckie in his heyday here. As you can see, Aux was an early and vital and loved part of my Duck Family.

I don't know what happened. First, I was playing happily with him. Just me and Aux. Next thing I know somebody drugged me or something and I woke up and The Woman was standing over me pointing to various pieces of Aux. I opened my perfect eyes to the horror of poor Auxiliary Duckie in the throws of his last moments. Well, actually, judging from his looks, his last moments were long over. He was a shadow of his former Duck Self, I tell you. His guts had been spilled everywhere. His beak was debeakitated. There were Duckie guts here. And Duckie guts there. And Duckie guts there and over there. It was a brutal visual that I shall never get out of my mind. I mean, just an hour earlier, me and Aux were happily playing my favorite Pull-Pull, Shake-Shake games and now this.

Poor Aux was never right from the Day One. You see, my first Duckie, (who, thank dog-god is still with me), and I were very close. Mom realized that I loved Duckie so much. I mean me and Duckie were inseparable. So you might imagine that Duckie developed that patina and ambiance and spit-iosity that we dogs are so fond of when we find a companion we love a lot and spend a lot of time with. I mean Duckie quacks in ways most Duckies never quack. 9 times on one bite! Three sets of three quacks on just ONE bite! Is that a great Quack-To-Bite ratio or what? I mean it doesn't get much better than that right? Such has been the case with Duckie since Day One. Well all of this did not go unnoticed, so one day Mom brought home another duckie just like him, thus the name Auxiliary Duckie. But while my original Duckie quacked to his heart's content and still continues to quack today (thank dog-god), Auxiliary Duckie never quite quacked right. I didn't mind his disability though, because I considered getting him to quack as a challenge. And Perfect Collies love challenges. So I don't need to tell you that me and Aux were close. Real close.

But so anyways, there he was, my beloved Aux, guts spilled everywhere. I was horrified. I am certain that there is a Duckie serial killer on the loose folks! I mean who else would do such a thing to such a good, albeit not too bright, duckie?

I watched in grief as Mom picked up the pieces of Aux's brains and entrails. She even took a piece out of my mouth. I don't know how it got there. It must have floated over to my face in my sleep right? I mean why else would a piece of my beloved Aux's guts be hanging off my mouth, right? Anyways, I was pretty sure that Mom could repair Aux. She had one similar things in the past and is very surgically adept that way. I fondly remember how she skillfully repaired my first companion Greenie right up until the day of his final hopelessness. I was having flashbacks of my poor Greenie's demise, obviously at the hands of the same Duck Serial Killer. But alas, surgery for Aux was not to be. Aux was declared a Dead Duck and that was that. Beyond resucitation.

As you can see, Auxiliary Duckie is lying in state today in his own personal pine box so that you might pay your respects. We held up the funeral for a few days until we could find all of my other ducks. We weren't completely successful, as Chickie has been missing for quite awhile now. I do hope to find her during my summer Digs in the yard. But Chickie won't be viewing the Late Auxilary Duckie, which is ok, since Chickie and Aux never actually met. Well but so anyways I know that you will all want to share in this sad occasion during which we put Aux to rest and I see my Auxilary Duckie off in eulogy.

Rest well, Aux. It's been a happy and active road for you. We played here. We played there. We played everywhere. We played in the basement. We played outside. We managed to quack outside the Woman's bedroom door on many a night at 3 AM. We shared Duck-to-Dog and Dog-to-Duck secret desires and dreams and philosophies. We had some great times together, like the times I put you in the water dish to swim to your duck-heart's content. Or the time you swam in the porcelain pool. And what about all our great times outside in the dirt, after which The Woman would bathe both of us? All those times Mojo hid you and I found you under the stove, or in the closet! Nothing could keep us apart long, Aux. How many times did I fetch you, Aux? It's countless! Nobody tasted like you, and I know Mom agrees that nobody smelled like you either. We were good together Aux. I am not sure why you had to leave me, but I am sure that the Duck in the Sky has his own plans for you. I just know that now you are quacking right and everything. No more Quack Deficiency. Somewhere in Duck Heaven, a special Duckie was needed. Farewell, Auxiliary Duck. Your spot among Ducks will never be filled.